![]() ![]() But I’d be afraid of infection, bleeding, retinal tears…” “A few have tried to aspirate floaters from the vitreous. Ease out the tube, and bang!” I clapped hard for emphasis. “…Then, quick as wings, you vacuum all the crap outta there. You slide it into the eyeball, through the tear duct…” “I’m afraid you’ll just have to get used to it,” the eye doctor said. The latest conk set off a blizzard of floating squiggles in my left eye. When you play weekend rugger, you take the odd elbow to the face. Will the Court intervene? Or will you join my roommate in mocking me? Leif Grunion Angel Fire, New Mexico (By Sid?) Since then, I haven’t been able to keep food down, my eyebrows are falling out, and I stepped on a very expensive pair of sunglasses. A quick inventory of my Armory showed only sixteen catapults, when I KNOW I had eighteen! The “squeaky wheel,” far from being “greased,” had been PLUNDERED of TWO CATAPULTS. I might have let the matter drop, had I not noticed something unnerving in my next play session. ![]() In a call to Zyzzyva Gaming, a representative - “Sid” - told me that the horse armor fees would “enhance the YOT experience for everyone.” Uh, no. And now, as a Twelfth-Level Marcher Lord, and having performed my Fyrd service with distinction, I am being asked to PAY, not in Keep Tokens, but in actual U.S. I have been playing Yeomen of Tyrth since the Destrier Edition of 2016. International Court of Justice Carnegieplein 2 The Hague, The Netherlands Dear Sir or Madam, I come to the Court as a last resort. It comes from your own actions.” (Was: “… It comes from purchases.”) Winston Churchill: “If you’re going through Hell, keep going.” (Was: “If you’re going through Hull, keep going.”) Douglas MacArthur: “I shall return.” (Was: “I shall retreat.”) Horace Greeley: “Go West, young man!” (Was: “Beat it, kid!”) Hey, what about a Bible that punches you? Is that anything? Respectfully, 007 No, wait: A massage table that pulls your feet off!įamous Quotations That Improved With A Rewrite Thomas Carlyle: "No pressure, no diamonds.” (Was: “No carbon, no diamonds.”) George Bernard Shaw: “Youth is wasted on the young.” (Was: “Moisturizer is wasted on the young.”) Helen Keller: “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows.” (Was: “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see.”) Bruce Lee: “Be like water.” (Was: “Be like gravy.”) Shakespeare: “Brevity is the soul of wit.” (Was: “Brevity is the very soul and heart and essence of wit, I tell you.”) Mary Schmich: “Do one thing every day that scares you.” (Was: “Screw one thing every day that scares you.”) The Dalai Lama: “Happiness is not something ready-made. Let’s keep decoding codes and burning holes in bad guys. For every hour I spend in the sack with Pussy Galore, I bet I spend twenty hearing about her Aunt Lydia, whose yarn shop is failing, or pawing through the sofa cushions for her Invisalign. (Yes, it helped me escape, but I looked like a complete tosser.) Perhaps you envy my way with women. Every one! Even that camel that was really a gyrocopter. Whatever the mission, I deploy every one of your doohickeys - to smashing effect, I might add. I’m the one who’ll have a flamethrower strapped to his bollocks. True, I like to get off a wry quip, but only to break the tension. “Pay attention, 007!” Or “This is serious stuff!” It’s really quite humiliating, and one time Moneypenny was there. Whenever I drop by Q Branch to check out the latest death-dealing gadgets, you end up hissing at me. You don’t like me, and I’ll be damned if I know why. Q Secret Intelligence Service Vauxhall, Lambeth London Dear Q, I’ll get right to the point.
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